so winter break has been ok so far. i went snowboarding, had our friends reunion/gift exchange, someone hit me in my car while i was parked, stayed out till 2am, got grounded for being out that late almost every night, saw my cousins that i havent seen in forever, my brother got a ds that im addicted to playing & a wii, saw the yfc kids that i havent seen since my debut, stayed up till 4am everynight and wake up at 3 pm, lost weight, worked out, watched a lot of tv, and basically nothing else productive. im basically a bum.
i had a dream of cilla for the first time since she died. i was so excited to see her and hug her. it felt so real. that was the happiest dream of my life. thanks again cill! you made me so happy to see you happy!
it seriously feels like summer. im a bum and i like it. it feels like i never left or im never going back to school. i miss my roommates and all the other fullerton kids.
p.s. i love the song "the sweet escape" by gwen stefani. it makes me happy.
the end. i have nothing more to write about.
<33
&& this is the result of my boredom....playing around with my camera and pretending i have photography skills. hahaha
why? i dont know.
<33
Tuesday, December 12th, 2006
Tuesday, December 12th 2006
so basically, i wanna shoot myself. i cannot wait till thursday when i get out of this hell. two more finals. basically, i cry to my mom everyday about how i fail at life and how i want to go home so bad. i hate finals. i feel so stressed. i dont know what i want to do with my life. but my mom made me feel a lil better today. we had a good talk. so fuck biology. fuck math. fuck political science. and fuck my broken computer. and my phone.
i spilled pickle juice on my computer & its broken. my phone doesnt charge anymore so i cant use it. basically, this is tite!!!!
someone kill me, but let me know first so i can do everything i want to do before i die.
my roomies make me smile big!!! freaks in the backseat!! foogle & moogle!! bathroom pics... i love love love love love my roommates with all my heart!!!!
Current Music:the wrekers - leave the pieces
Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
Wednesday, November 29th 2006
my eventful weekend.... sooooo.....my debut is over. how sad. =( i absolutely LOVED it!! it was the best birthday ever & possible one of the best nights of my life!! the after party happened & i didnt drink. i felt like i couldn't. it was fun anyways although everyone was shit-faced and throwing up. but oh well. i said i wasnt taking care of anyone. as mean as that sounds, i didnt want to get myself mad from taking care of drunk people. the day after i felt sooooo sick. i had a headache from sleeping too much and my stomach was churning cuz i was so hungry. but i got tons of cool presents & money.
sunday was my moms birthday so she said all she wanted for her birthday was to go to church with me and my brothers. (we never all go anymore cuz we're all busy or not home) i thought it was cute so we went. we saw archie's family at church and we all went to eat at burbank. (i pushed for kabuki sushi....plus i wanted to go shopping) we ate there and some wierd bus boy guys kept hitting on me. totally gross. we planned to watch a movie but we went shopping instead. i spent $630 at urban. soooo bad. ooohhhh at urban i saw vanessa ann hudgens. it was totally a trip. i was changing in the dressing room & i was trying to call my mom to look at my outfit. & her dad was like "that's a really nice dress" & vanessa looked at me & said "oh my gosh, that is really really cute on you" and smiled at me. i smiled back and said thanks. i turned to go back into the dressing room & it hit me. omg i know her!! i got totally star struck and tried to dress really quickly so i could see her again. i kept looking at her and her dad saw me. he probably thought i was weird. but it was cool seeing her. she's cute.
i went back to fullerton & was totally bummed. i really didnt want to go back to school. ahhh i did my laundry at school for the first time! it was soo exciting. i finally feel like a college student. hahaha j/k but yeah. i totally did all my laundry. i felt quite accomplished. oh yesterday there was SNOW in the quad!! it was soooo cool. i guess ASI set it up. they made a lil hilll that students could slide down on a sled on. and they had a snowman. how cool is that. our school has snow!! my roommates and i went to 99 cent store yesterday to buy chrstmas decorations for our house. we spent $19 and our house loooks so sweeet. ill post up pictures later. we went to the study room to study & i fell asleep so early yesterday. i was really tired. today i only had one class and i have nothing to do now. ill probably study. tonight i hear the boys are playing beagle and they want us to come over. who drinks on wednesday nights? weird people!!!!
so i made my family put on this silly bear hat that my aunt had. i have a silly family. my brother didnt want to take a picture. daddy bear shy bear model bear sad bear grillz bear scary bear.
im sleepy so im gonna take a nap...like always. <33
ok so ill admit it.....im really excited for my debut. who would have thought after 3-4 months of MY PARENTS planning my debut, i would actually be excited. i gave up along time ago on MY debut. i didnt get my way so i gave up. i think its sooo funny that whenever someone asks me something about my debut my response is ALWAYS "ask my mom. i have no idea. its her debut" but oh well. i dont care really. as long as i have fun, which i for sure know i will. well practice was really tiring. we went from about 2:30 to almost 8 i think. talk about killer. we took pictures for the program today ghetto style with my camera. here's some of them. i cant show the real couple pictures cuz those are to be seen at the debut. this is me NOT practicing. my feet hurt like hell & were hella dirty. sick i know. a palm tree!!! & justin. germaine being a cute face. lou being a sad face. glenn killing khaena. cute faces. jus. germaine being a crazy girl. yeeee-uhhhh red shorts. we all matched that day.
ok thats it. i guess ill try to sleep now seeing as its almost 4am. ive got a busy day tomorrow.
so i've realized that i like to post entries really late at night when i think too much before going to sleep. im home in the valley in my lovely lil bed. everyone went home today & i mean EVERYONE. the campus and dorms were so dead. it was a bit eerie. so i registered for classes on thursday and i had to do it during class which was whack cuz i totally didn't hear the lecture for that day. so i fixed my schedule before i went to class so it would take me 3 seconds to register. everything was perfect. so as time ticked by, i counted down the minutes till it was 3. even germaine was reminding me how many minutes left to register. i was really really excited. i like new things and new semesters. so i literally stared at my clock at 2:59 till it turned 3. yes im a loser, i know. so i got all my classes in less than 2 minutes EXCEPT for the class i was most excited for. it said the class was restricted. so after class i called the dance department to see why it was restricted and it turns out its only for dance or theater majors. (its not a GE class, but i wanted to take it for fun & since fullerton is known for thier dance) so since im a dumb bio major, (which i am contemplating about dropping) the only way i can be in that class is by petitioning it or in blatent terms, crashing the class for the first week. hopefully i get it or else my schedule will be the silliest ever. i would only have hcomm on tuesdays and thursday and the rest of my classes on monday and wednesday. hahahaha. what a waste of a day if i only have one class for one hour. whacckkkkkooooo. so hopefully that works out. pllleeeaasseee oohhh plllleaaassseee.
so yesterday, i mean thursday (the day doesnt change until i wake up) felt like a friday like always cuz my roommates dont have friday classes, we party every thursday. so balky (bryan) and zach came over and we all watched friends (best show ever. right under one tree hill) and me and victoria stretched again....we like to do that sometimes. kim and mary went to go get some candy and we headed over to the BEAGLE DOME. to my surprise it was VERY VERY VERY clean. and it didn't smell that bad. boys dorms tend to smell like rotting feet and trash. gross. but it was actually clean. germ was like "hey can i have a cup?" & zach replied "uhmm don't you know the rules...its BYOC" bring your own cups.....hahahaha only a dirty boy house that never does their dishes would make up a rule like that. They have Beagle Dome rules. so we started the fun and watched friends again. i thought it was very amusing that when we walked in the guys were already watching friends. its was weird cuz they're usually watching fox sports net. after i while it hit me that we were watching friends for a long time & i said "i loooovvvee how we were watching friends in the love shack and we come over to the beagle dome to play beagle (a crazy game that would literlly kill you) and we're all watching friends.....i love it!" then the guys were like "i love friends" and jon said the cutest thing ever..."i heart this show....forever" the guys gave him looks like "wtf?" so the night consisted of candy and watching tv. good stuff. the girls got sleepy so we headed home. but tony and darren wanted to go to denny's as a repeat of last week. maybe we'll make it a thursday night ritual. we were there for a few minutes after we got our food and tony felt shitty sick so we left. i knocked out and woke up at 9 thinking that i slept through my classes. after class i headed home.
ohhhh btw i LOVE driving in traffic with the windows down, wind in hair, music blasting, singing at the top of my lungs to senses fail, while people pass me and honk at me becuase im weird. hahahaha i really dont give a fuck. it took my about 2 hours to get home cuz of traffic. my aunt and uncle came from the philippines for my debut and brought my dress. i got it made in the philippines....ahhhhh. it makes me excited. it's perfect. i seriously feel like a fat ass when i come home cuz all i do is eat and sleep and eat some more. and my parents constantly looking at me and making remarks about my weight doesn't help my self esteem at all. i don't think im fat, im just aware that i've gained weight & im kinda disappointed that no one ever pointed it out to me before. oh well. the parents and aunt n uncle are going to vegas tomorrow morning and that means im home alone with the lil brother. funnnnnn. i'll probably be in my room the whole time doing homework. seriously what's the point of giving us a week vacation if they're just gonna pile on loads of work to do? grrrrr.
i finished a biolog today. it's not due for another 2 weeks. WHO DOES THAT?! omg i feel like a nerd. i usually finish my biologs 5 minutes before my class. hahaha. i suck. but i've got tons of work to do and i think it would be best to do it all now before i forget. this was really long and i forgot what i initially was gonna write about when my mind started thinking things. oh well. i guess it wasn't that important.
ohhh i found $20 in the back pocket of a pair of jeans that i havent worn in a long time.....it made me sooo excited. it was like the best feeling in the world.
p.s. im an insomniac.
<33
Current Mood: awake Current Music:apoligize - onerepublic
Thursday, November 16th, 2006
Thursday, November 16th 2006
annnnoyyyyyeeeddd!!! so it is currently 2:12 am and i am still up doing homework. i didnt procrastinate, i just had some difficulty finding an article for my paper. its on bureaucracy. i couldn't find anything good enough or even relevant to my polisci class. but the roomies and i all had our wednesday night ritual of watching one tree hill all together. tony came over to do his homework, but ended up getting mesmerized by one tree hill (it's cuz its the best show in the whole entire world). after it was over i still didnt have an article and resorted to do it on the police force.....LAME. but whatever. i did A LOT of stretching, which i haven't done in so long. ever since tryouts for song. yup that was the last time i ever stretched. i did some pretty strenuous stretching. i got excited for my ballet class that im taking next semester....YAY!!!! im so excited, you have no idea. i wanted to start getting flexible again & practice on my double turns and leaps. ahhhh. i cant wait. so darren came over to do his homework too....and i think tony and darrenn are still here. joe and dustin came over and i reminded joe that he owes me chocolate covered gummi bears from his work...ahh i cant wait for those. so i finally finish reading my article and begin to start to write my paper and silly germaine calls our neighbor, who i HATE over so he could tell me that he doesn't hate me. she asked "you dont hate gizelle right? cuz she thinks you hate her." WHO SAYS THAT?! obviously he would lie....that's what i would do. so he comes over and annoys me and says that he doesn't hate me and that i just make a big scene everytime hes around (which is a total lie because anyone who knows me, knows i wouldn't make a big scene...ever). so he's a dumbass. i hate annoying people like him. ahhhhh. so im all annoyed now and writing in my livejournal that no one ever reads cuz people rarely use lj anymore. but yeah, i just wanted to vent. i guess this lj serves some purpose. i guess i'll start to do my paper now and bs it in hopes that i will get some extra credit for it. ahhhh. wish me luck on this paper and on registering for my classes tomorrow...hopefully all my classes are open still. goodnight....i love love love you.
hiiiiiii well i havent updated in a long time...but thats only because i forgot my password. yeah dumb of me. but to update, college is kicking my ass hard core. i seriously wanna drop out sometimes. but i feel accomplished right now cuz im in the study rooms in the newer dorms and i've been here since 7:30 studying for my bio quiz tomorrow. i need to get As on everything from now on if i want to pass this class. but yeah. i'm in here & im done studying and its barely 10:30. yay me. so im gonna go back to my dorm & shower, eat, study for polisci, and sleep. yes this was pointless but i just wanted to update!!! happy birthday robyn....bitchesssss for life!!!!
i love love love you all.
Sunday, October 9th, 2005
Sunday, October 9th 2005
wow so i haven't wrote in sooo long due to stress & busyness (if thats even a word. it looks weird) i thought this year would be soo chill but i guess i was wrong. maybe doing more things this year was a bad idea. i dont like cheer anymore. it seriously feels like a chore. everything that used to be fun about it, isnt anymore. games are so boring. im glad this is my last year. all my classes suck. they're all boring & im not doing so well. im thinking of dropping some classes next sememster if i can. asb is really stressful. i really love it tho. but the 2 most stressful weeks are finally over. & i apoligize to anyone & everyone who saw me stressed & freaked out. sorry if it scared you. & sorry for crying all the time. i was stressing & pmsing at the same time. & i still hadta worry about college & SATs.
i dont think im gonna be writing anything in any blogs of any sort anymore cuz i just dont have time. i rarely on the computer anymore. oh well i havta learn how to manage my time anyways.
oh & one last thing....IM IN. so if you have verizon, feel free to call me!!
cheer camp was fun. i really surprised myself. im proud of song. makes me proud to be captain. i really missed cheer tho. i want to stunt, as weird as that sounds cuz i hate it. im kind of thinking about actually going to london for the new years parade. my parents said i should go. i've never been to london & when will i ever go? the money is a problem tho. i AM gonna try out for USA. why not? it would be a cool job. but it would be a lot of work & might distract me. yay for seniors. asb camp is coming up & i have no idea what to expect. school is coming up & summer is almost over. i'd have to say that this has been the best summer i've had so far. im lovin it! i'll put up more pictures of camp when they're done loading.
ahhh summer. today was the first day that it actually felt like summer. ya know the lazy type of summer where you stay up all night, sleep in the day, and eat like a pig. yup. it feels good to be a lazy summer bum. im so glad im home cuz i was so homesick.
i've spent the last month sleeping early, waking up early, eating 5 times a day, going out everyday, and having a great vacation. i think im done flying on planes for at least a year. i hated traveling for 18 hours. then on the way to ohio, our travel time was 17 hours when it should've been 6. ugh talk about tiring.
summer so far has been great. philippines was fun, ohio was fun. hopefully this good summer mood will last the whole summer. that would be awesome.
school counselors are great. it made me feel like i had sooo many problems but it made me feel a lot better.
camp was great. great job to everyone who served. UC was the best ever. i loved walking up & down that friggen hill like 20 million times a day. it was overall a good weekend. i really liked that camp.
today was a good day. i got song captain with eleni. yay for us and for krystle and cilla. its gonna be a good year.
my SAT scores sucked so i guess that's my only low.
10 more days of school. woot woot.
this will be a good week....cuz i said so. =)
Current Mood: excited Current Music:jack johnson-better together
wow. i am stressed. i just want everything to be over already and summer to come. & i want it to stop being so hott. i can feel myself tanning already. i really hope i make song & asb. boo if i dont. ill honestly cry if i dont make song cuz i know that my 8 years of cheering and dancing will be over forever. how sad. i dont think ill make asb cuz everyone else is wayy better than me. this weekend is gonna be stressful like carrazzyy. i miss my mom like crazy style. i saw her on tfc (a filipino tv channel) she was on some show. but i miss her. im honestly drained in every way. *sigh*
Current Mood: drained Current Music:jack johnson-better together <3
ugh. being sick sucks. i've been home ALL weekend. all i can do is sleep and watch tv.
tomorrow is my grandpa's one year since he died. my grandma in the philippines is getting pretty sick and i seriously hope that i can see her in june. it hurt me not being able to see my grandpa before he died. i just hope she stays strong until i come home.
im home alone. my whole family leaves me when i need to be taken care of. i cant even get up to cook something cuz im so dizzy. ahhhh. this sucks. = (
by wednesday night & thursday...it sucked major ass.
except friday. i love my cousin.
saturday night and sunday were spent with so much crying.
it sucks that the person who always makes me cry...a lot is the one person who loves me a lot and is my best friend. i wonder if my mom knows how much she can break me. seriously i dont even know if she understands how much she can damage me. no one can make me cry as much as her. then there's my dad who never yells at me. so when he did it made everything much worse.
i hate being a horrible daughter. sometimes i can be sooo stupid. all that made me realize that i need to be more responsible. i've always depended on josh for a lot. especially for being the oldest and taking the blame for all the stupid crap i do. with him gone this weekend, there is no one to help me take the blame. if he really does go to cal poly and moves away im gonna be the one taking all the heat from my parents and being responsible for my little brother.
my mom is taking me out of the one group that makes me sooo happy. with cfc-youth (yfc) there is never a dull moment. they bring me close to God and that makes me happy way beyond words. without them to guide me, i'd probably be someone who i dont want to be. i know ill always have God, but it wont be as close.
i know its stupid to say but i wish i could just die right now.
This is where you can put a qoute! It can be one sentence, or it can be a paragraph that tells who you are and is your 'about me'
section. It would also be a good place to tell if your journal is friends only or public. Look at it as your mini sidebar. Do what
you want to with it!
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
ctchafallinstr's journal
awake
excited
chipper
giddy
drained
lonely
